Luxurious Sloth

8 Things I Learned When I Was 29

My year between 29 and 30 has been one of incredible learning experiences. I feel like I’ve grown more in the past year than I had in previous years. I honestly feel like a totally different person than I did last year. I’m not saying that I’ve become a completely different person, but I feel like I understand things better. I feel more grounded and balanced, despite the fact that my life has gotten a lot crazier work-wise. Here’s a little list of 8 lessons I learned in the past year. The fact that each of these headers could be the title of a self-help book is not lost on me!

1. Speaking My Truth: Melanie, my intuitive guide, told me this during our first meeting in April 2011. And I’ve tried to do this ever since. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Speaking your truth means that you’re always honest; it means that you’re not sugar-coating the truth or agreeing with people just to avoid confrontation. In fact, it invites confrontation—the healthy kind. Speaking my truth over the past year has helped me show people who I really am but, interestingly, it’s helped me better see who other people really are based on their reactions to MY TRUTH.

2. Purge, Purge, Purge: In every sense of the word. I evaluate what’s in my life: whether it be an object or a person and I ask myself “Is this adding value to my life or just taking up space?” If it’s the latter, I then remove it from my life. This is super hard! Especially with people! We all have those people in our lives who we try to avoid…but (I know I’m not the only one) I still feel bad about not wanting to hang out with them. I still have a tiny bit of guilt but not as much as I did last year. I’ve gotten pretty good at not people-pleasing and not keeping things around the house for the sake of it.

3. I Have Limits: I have been known to take on any project that comes my way. This year, I learned how to say no to jobs. I even (kindly) denied resumes services to a potential client whom I sensed would be a total pain and I am very proud of myself for doing so. The old me would’ve taken her on and hated every minute of my life until she was out of it!

4. Saying Au Revoir: I learned how to let people come in and out of my life without taking offense or getting upset about it.

5.  What Makes a Good Friend: This is perhaps the greatest thing that I’ve learned in the past 12 months. I seriously get emotional when I think about it! I’m not going to bother expressing what that means to me, because we all have our ideas about friends. But all I can say is that it’s been a tough year for me and my friends have been so, so, so wonderful, supportive, encouraging, and FUN and I can’t thank them enough. I seriously have the best friends in the world.

6. Dancing Can Happen When You’re Completely Sober: Did you ever think that would happen?! Either I’ve lost all shame or I’ve just gotten really good at dancing but I can dance all night without having had one drink in me. Of course, drinks still help but sometimes, a girl doesn’t feel like having an alcohol but she still wants to have fun. Know what I mean?

7. It’s OK Not to Do Dishes for a Week! Well, at least I keep telling myself that it’s ok.

8. Traveling is the Best Medicine: THIS IS THE TRUTH. Get the hell out of town and feel better about everything and BONUS, return with a new, fresh perspective. When I’m home too long, I just feel overwhelmed and confused. I feel like everything makes total sense when I’m on vacation. Is once per month too much?

Why, God, Why?!

Ha! Pretty hilarious.

Aging Spinster

My little sister got married last year and before she tied the knot, my dad thought it would be a good time to have a heart-to-heart with me about my life. He pulled me aside and said “Can I ask you something?” “Sure,” I said, wondering what was so important that he had to ask me if he could ask me a question. “Do you think you’ll have your face forever?” I had to take a second to process this question. English is not my father’s first language, so sometimes, it take a little interpreting before I fully understand what he says. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Well, Julie, you should really think about getting married. You’re not going to be pretty forever.” THANKS, DAD!

30 is the new 20, right?

Repeat Song of the Day: Regina Spektor, “Us”

I can’t get enough of this song today. Super hard to sing along to!

Henri, the Existential French Cat

This is pretty funny! Why is it that cats are perpetually dissatisfied? My cat is spoiled rotten and yet he is never pleased. Le sigh.

Bucket Lists at the Precipice of 30

Marisol sent me this wonderful article about 15 things that every woman should have and know by the time she’s 30. I’m happy to say that I have/know most of those things, except for a few here and there that I’m still working on. Like owning a good umbrella.

When I turned 25, I thought about creating a bucket list and putting it in an envelope and opening it on my 30th birthday to see if I’d accomplished any of it. Or if my ambitions were even the same. But I never did get around to writing that list. And I’m glad I didn’t. I think I would’ve gotten sentimental and weepy for the naive and optimistic person I was when I was 25. I had such strong ideas about my life and the way things should be and *would* be.

I definitely didn’t think I’d still be working my corporate day job but this recession makes it impossible to rely on Dovetail full-time. I guess I didn’t think I’d be single at 30. I remember telling my mom that I didn’t want to get married until I was 30 and I thought it sounded SOOO old and I knew that I was shocking her with that fact. But now that I’m here, it doesn’t feel so old! And being single has treated me better than being attached so no complaints here at the moment.

I wanted to own my own business by the time I was 30, and I did it when I was 25. I don’t know what else to wish for right now. Dovetail keeps me so busy that my current bucket list is a day-to-day one: try to do laundry, try to wash dishes, try to hang clothes in the closet and not throw them on the floor, try to buy cat food before it runs out, try to buy groceries before they run out, try to remember to floss. I can barely keep up with my daily life, I hardly have room for long-term goals at the moment! But I’m challenging myself to create some long-term goals. I think the fear of not accomplishing them has kept me from making them. It’s just really hard to let go of a dream and much easier not to risk dreaming one up that may not materialize. 

So I think I’ll pass on making a bucket list for 35. Ok, I’ll put a few things on it:

1. Remove wisdom teeth

2. Fix my bike

3. Hang my 6’ x 4’ Christian Dior print.

I think that’s all for now. I’ll leave you with song (when I was 14, hearing Blur sing about getting closer to 30 also made 30 sounds so old). I guess I’m old now.

April 2: Intuitive Awarness

Marisol and I met up yesterday and headed to Glen Ellyn to get psychic readings by her long-time (10 years!) intuitive guide, Gail Volpe. But before we hit the road, we hit Swim Cafe and loaded up on treats (blackberry corn cupcake, lemon cake, dill pickle chips—ha!). With snacks in tow, we hit the highway. Marisol and I hadn’t had any one-on-one time in over a week since she went to Brazil. It was great catching up with her and hearing about her wild time in Brazil!

Marisol introduced me to Gail last November and all I can is that she was right about EVERYTHING. If you’ve never been to an intuitive guide, I would really consider giving it a try. Just for the experience of it. They’ll never give you *bad* news but they will tell you things you don’t want to hear—but its information you NEED to hear to serve as a catalyst for change and to stimulate personal growth. Really. She’s amazing.

If you’d like to meet with her, you can email her at: gailvolpe@gmail.com.

Typewriter Stories

My pal, Franki Elliot, is a genius. She just started a new blog called Typewriter Stories and each one is amazing. She knows how to capture those perfect moments we all experience…the awkward ones, the disappointing ones, the sweet ones, the ones that build our hopes like sandcastles, and the ones that wash them away. What a great supplement to her book, Piano Rats.